Josephine & Norman's |  |
 | |
Josephine & Norman's | |
| |
 Cute |
Funny |
Very Funny |
Very Very Funny |
Hysterical |
   Clean |   Tasteless |  Dirty |
Questions and Answers | |
| A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest tits? The blonde, because she's 18. |
| Did you hear about the couple that "96'd"? After they 69'd, they rolled over and shit in each other's hair. |
| Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering if their really was a Dog. |
| Did you hear about the dyslexic rabbi? He walks around saying, "Yo." |
| Did you hear about the nearsighted golfer? He drove his caddies nuts. |
| Did you hear that Lorena Bobbit was seriously hurt in an auto accident? Yeah.... Some dick cut her off. |
| Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law. |
| How can you tell if a house was built by lesbians? It's all tongue-in-groove with no studs. |
| How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party? The cake jumps out of the girl. |
| How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. |
| How can you tell if your husband is dead? The sex is the same but you get the remote. |
| How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "filthy but wearable." |
| How many surrealist painters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A fish. |
| What did Davy Crockett say at the Alamo? "Where the fuck did all these landscapers come from?" |
| What did the Jewish girl get on her S.A.T.s? Nail polish. |
| What do an Olympic gold medal, an Olympic silver medal, and a pair of testicles have in common? They've all hung under Greg Louganis' chin. |
| What does a redneck girl say after sex? "Get off me, Daddy. You're crushing my Marlboros." |
| What does a slug say when he's riding a turtle's back? "Wheee!" |
| What has four legs and one arm? A happy pit bull. |
| What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog. |
| What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? Sexual harassment. |
| What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? $3.99 a minute. |
| What is the definition of "making love"? Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. |
| What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. |
| What would you get if you took all of the queers out of San Francisco? Tokyo. |
| What's another word for cocoon? N-nigger. |
| What's black and white and red all over, and can't fit in a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head. |
| What's brown and hides in the attic? The diarrhea Of Anne Frank. |
| What's more dangerous than a nigger with a switch blade? A faggot with a chipped tooth. |
| What's the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. |
| What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. |
| What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes. |
| What's the difference between a hobo and a homo? A hobo has no friends at all, whereas a homo has friends up the ass. |
| What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a vulture? A vulture waits until you're dead to eat your heart out. |
| What's the difference between a Jewish mother and an Arab terrorist? You can negotiate with an Arab terrorist. |
| What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball? You can't fit a sorority girl in a bowling ball. |
| What's the difference between a white cow and a black cow? A white cow goes, "Moo," and a black cow goes, "Moo out d' way." |
| What's the diffeence between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste. |
| What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On St. Patrick's Day, everybody wishes they were Irish.... |
| What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. |
| What's the inanimate tissue around a vagina? A woman. |
| What's the one thing you can do to a Jewish girl's asshole to make her squeal with delight? Give him a raise. |
| What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth? Einstein's cock. |
| What's the smelliest thing in the world? An anchovie's pussy. |
| Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black. |
| Why did cavemen pull their women around by the hair? Because if they pulled them around by their feet, they'd fill up with mud. |
| Why did God invent lesbians? So feminists wouldn't breed. |
| Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my fucking dick. |
| Why do black men wear hats with broad brims? To keep the pigeons from shitting on their lips. |
| Why do black women have such big purses? So their lipstick will fit in them. |
| Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't? Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator. |
| Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care. |
| Why does the bride always wear white? Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator |
| Why is it hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. |
| Why is Ted Kennedy dating a blow-up doll? Because she floats. |
Send any email and/or submissions to billius@sagal.com.